


Echeveria Agavoides and Dirty Chai

by SadRabbitGirl



Category: Magic: The Gathering (Card Game)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Background Poly, Bisexuality, CW: Urza, F/F, F/M, High school relationships (referenced), M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Other, Party, Pining, Plants, Smoking, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, aged-down characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26820478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadRabbitGirl/pseuds/SadRabbitGirl
Summary: This spun out of a joke I made to myself about Coffee Shop AUs, the bungle wotc made of War of the Spark, and Bace Jeleran's "Are You My Mistress" (which is infinitely better than this, go read that if you're old enough)Chandra takes time from her mechanical engineering coursework to develop a thirst for coffee, and the girl who serves it.A lot of this story is based on some real life extrapolation and some stretching of canon, and is *incredibly self indulgent* for myself.M+ rated scenes I decided to cut and post into a separate work as I felt they broke the narrative.Shoutouts to DarQuing and Para for their never-ending positivity, support, and encouragement, I doubt I could work up the confidence to publish anything without yall.Please forgive any editing weirdness, Ive had the first couple chapters of this done for weeks and would pick them to pieces if not encouraged to go ahead and post.NOTE: the problematic age differences were pointed out to me in some of the pairings. I want to be super clear that this is an AU, and everyone is aged up/down to their early 20s. I really hope that clears up anyone's concerns.
Relationships: Chandra Nalaar/Liliana Vess, Chandra Nalaar/Nissa Revane, Chandra/Unnamed, Huatli/Saheeli Rai, Jace Beleren/Liliana Vess, Jace Beleren/Vraska, Kaya/Arathia/Teyo, Liliana Vess/Judith, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Nissa/Unknown, Oko/Garruk Wildspeaker, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Tomik Vrona/Ral Zarek
Comments: 30
Kudos: 23





	1. Such is life she often said. With one day leading to the next.

Doctor Urza was an awful person. His mechanical engineering exams were legendarily terrible. Still, Chandra Nalaar knew her shit. She knew the math, she knew the theories, she knew how he liked to write his tests. Still, it wasn’t going to be easy by any means. She still had weeks of lab work to go through, inventor examples, hand draftings, just stacks upon stacks of material to review. This is on top of her other approaching midterms. Knowing you’re capable of something and actually doing it when it's going to be a hell of an ordeal is another. Still, she had Jace and Gideon’s GSA/Taekwondo clubs party to look forward to. She glanced up across the library table scattered with study material at her first and likely closest friend she made at university, Jace Beleran was one of the first people she had met at university and remained one of her closest friends, even if he was a sleep-deprived looking disaster right now. He, for some insane reason, was double majoring in math and psychology. He never quite looked like he got enough sleep, but it was the norm during midterm season and he looked awful. He looked over his stack of textbooks, making eye contact for a moment and immediately pretending he didn’t. He was always shy, but incredibly sweet and intimidatingly brilliant.

She was distracted from her distraction by a familiar voice cutting in beside her. “Chandra, do you have the solution to the modulus of elasticity lab? I want to check my results against the lab guide if you have it handy”. The voice belonged to another of Chandra’s closest friends, Saheeli Rai. They had known each other for years, met in high school as gawky idiots that happened into Honors Chem together. Saheeli was gorgeous as she was brilliant as well. They had bonded after Chandra had suffered a particularly rocky breakup junior year which had made a lot of things about herself much clearer. Funny the first person she came out to as bisexual came out right back as gay in return. They had been best of friends ever since that awkward, tearful night.

“Sure, lemme ummmm…” Chandra fumbled with her laptop, balanced awkwardly next to her notes. “I'll send you a link to my whole lab folder”

“Shouldn’t you already be like, sharing everything you’re allowed to? In comp-sci we just keep a communal document for every class along with individual notes” hummed an undeservedly smug voice across the table. Ral Zarek popping his eyes over the screen of his laptop, his shock of white hair illuminated by the screen he was glued to. Ral the type of friend that was wonderful to have around but also a pain in the ass sometimes.

Before Chandra could come up with a clever response the last of the five sitting together cut in. “Ral, it’s midterms, can you please spare us your *oh so sharp* wit?" Asked Kaya. Kaya was a newcomer to the group as she had transferred abruptly about half a year ago. She didn’t talk a lot about herself but possessed a rapier-sharp wit and an intensity that made her an irresistible friend and ally. “Unless you want to teach the class about modular elastics or whatever it was, don’t stress them out.”   
  
Ral blinked in shock as Saheeli burst into laughter, effectively diffusing the tense situation. Her laughter was a bright sound cutting through the open study room of Tolarian University library. The open rooms were nice due to the lax silence rules, where groups could meet and work. 

“I see someone is amusing my favorite tonight” Said the newly approaching girl with two cardboard trays of steaming hot drinks. “I appreciate it but don’t make any moves on my girl”. She set the drinks down and leaned in for a quick peck on the lips from Saheeli. “Rehearsal over early so I snuck your drink orders from my co-conspirator here, hope they’re right.” Huatli took a seat at the empty chair at the table, next to Saheeli who was concealing a light blush.

Chandra reached up, finding the cup with a “C” scrawled on it in grease pen. The smell of it revealed it to be her favorite and go-to order, dirty chai latte. Granted, she could live off the things and has for some periods of time when school gets abundantly stressful. 

The others took their drinks, hot tea for Saheeli, redeye black for Jace, london fog iced for Kaya, and a white mocha with raspberry and extra whip cream for Ral. To be fair Saheeli had been incredibly sneaky about getting everyone’s order.

Huatli leaned around her girlfriend looking in Chandra’s direction “your favorite was there, she asked about you” teased the darker haired girl. Jace glanced up at Chandra with a sly grin while Chandra was willing every fiber of her being not to turn a deeper shade of red than her hair. “Do I have to drag you in there to get her number or you gonna keep making the worst attempt at flirty eyes I've ever seen” She laughed in a way that differentiated this good-natured teasing from outright bullying. 

Saheeli playfully swatted her girlfriend with a packet of papers she was going through. “Leave her alone love, she can handle this on her own.” A wicked smile appeared on her completely innocent face, “once she finds her big girl panties and finds her way into coffee girl’s” came the unexpected barb. Saheeli was not often one for lewd jokes but Huatli was an influence on her, and who else to tease but your best friend.

Jace let out an ungraceful snort of a laugh at this line. After he recomposed himself he steeled himself and looked Chandra in the eyes. “Not to be a dick, but we’re here to help, you know, should you need help finding your way into anyone’s panties” His serious tone broke before he could get the words out into deep laughter.

Chandra felt as if she had actually ignited she was so embarrassed. “You all are supposed to be on my side with this” she laughed “What if I'm not looking for anything right now, I'm doing fine on my own.”

“Look, if you aren’t looking for someone that's fine, but you’re about as subtle as one of those cartoon wolves.” Saheeli added comfortingly, “ What we are saying is if you need some support, a wingwoman, someone to help out, we are there for you. We know things haven't been exactly *ideal*” with the emphasis on that word she passed a glance to Jace whose face turned into a slight grimace.

The barbed teasing gave way to an actual almost sweet sentiment, still, Chandra was blindingly embarrassed. “Look, ok, she’s super cute. I mean, hella cute. Like, *unf* you know? But like, how to even try? ‘Hi, I'm Chandra Nalaar, you have a very cute butt and I would like to get to know it better?’” she scoffed.   
  
Ral joined in “I dunno, that would work on me if we’re oversharing”

“No no no,” Huatli argued, “you just need to go in, catch her when they're not busy and flash that irresistible idiot smile of yours, say something goofy, and ask her if she wants to hang out sometime, she says no?” Huatli shrugged “we find you a cutie at the party.”

“I mean, why bother, She's probably not even into girls"

Jace joined in “she has a lesbian pride pin on her bag and wears a rainbow bracelet to work you unobservent disaster.”   
  
“I dunno, ally? Look, as fun as it is to get teased mercilessly by you all, I've been studying this for like 4 hours now and that chai ran right to my bladder so I'm going to excuse myself while y'all come up with more ways to torment me.” 

She stood and marched away from the table confidently. “Get her number!” called Huatli after her.

Not giving them the satisfaction of selling that she picked up her pace out of the open study room, through the common area and down the stairs, avoiding the restroom attached to the coffee shop because, well, that's not happening.   
  
Rounding the corner into the main floor hallway where the bathrooms were stashed, she ran nearly face first into Coffee Girl coming out of the little convenience store set up down the hall. Gods she has pretty eyes.   
  
“Ooph, sorry I wasn't…” Coffee Girl stammered out, meeting the gaze of the redhead and eyes widening like a prey animal caught in headlights. “Watching where I was, I'm sorry”   
  
“No no it's me, I'm just umm...” She looked down the girl’s big round eyes and soft face to the nametag on her apron. She had never worked up the courage to read it because since she took up shifts in the coffee shop Chandra has been avoiding embarrassing herself. "Nissa" it read.   


“Hey, umm, you made my dirty chai earlier, it was ummmm really good?” she asked, not sure why it came out as a question.   
  
“Thanks” said Nissa timidly,”you're Chandra, right? That loud dark haired girl’s friend?” catching herself, she downplayed “it's from a mix to be honest, I just added the spice and the espresso”

“Yeah it was super good though, umm, Hey” Chandra swallowed her pride, this is go time, “you wanna maybe a coffee, get a coffee, I mean a drink, maybe not coffee you probably are sick of it, to do something sometime?”

Nissa’s timid sheen wavered as she looked up at Chandra, it was almost like she had to call up all of the courage she could muster. “That would. I mean I like coffee too but I would yes, like to do, a thing. With you?”   
  
“Oh ok, err, just text my phone so I have your number, if that's like? Ok?” what the hell was she doing.   
  
Nissa’s eyes widened in terror, “I'm not supposed to have my phone on me on the clock, it's in my locker but maybe I can go get it?" Why was she so nervous?   


She's backing out, isn't she? Chandra’s brain screamed at her. “Hah, that's funny” It wasn't funny? “Here's mine, would you be ok just sending yourself one so I could have...your number, if that's ok with you”    
  
Nissa nodded and took the offered phone, took a second to figure out how to navigate (as everyone else’s phone is bizarre alien technology) and nodded again as she hit the send button. Chandra could swear the smaller brunette had a blush rushing across her cheeks.   
  
“Gotta you know, back to the coffee work. The back to work,” Nissa stammered out and nearly bolted away like a scared rabbit.   
  
“Fuck me,” Chandra moaned to herself, remembering her need to pee and moping her way in to the ladies room. Never on Earth had an attempted flirting pickup gone so poorly. She sat and sunk her head into her hands. Way to fuck that up, might as well just go home because there's no way she can face the others now.

A soft “bzzt bzzt” from her phone that she didn't have the energy to pick up. Probably Jace giving her more shit. Saheeli wasn't totally wrong though. She hadn't kept a relationship for longer than a few weeks since getting here, that is, not counting *her* but, that wasn't a relationship as much as it was an embarrassing string of party hookups. That's about all she's managed. Handful of hookups, some fleeting feelings (swiftly dashed to pieces as soon as she trusted), some crushes and hopes that led nowhere. School is hard enough, why complicate it with pretty, brown eyed, brown hair, round face, thin waist, nice chest, amazing little butt, lithe arms and legs, coffee girl who seemed more terrified than interested.   
  
Another string of buzzes drove her to pick up her phone. Three messages. One from Jace with a picture of a pair of panties with a coffee pattern on them and a heart emoji, one from Saheeli, apologizing if they went too overboard with the teasing, and one from a number she didn't recognize. It took her a moment to realize the first line was sent from her phone saying simply “Nissa Revane” and a reply saying “I grabbed my phone from my locker to return the message. I'm sorry I come off so timid I just am not very good at people, I hope you understand. I am excited to get a coffee drink sometime. Also, may I have your last name for your contact?”.   
  
She blinked a few times before it processed. She stared at the message, not believing it to be true. She stood, washed her hands and wandered back to the group.   
  
“Hey love, are you ok?” asked Saheeli urgently, she had clearly made herself feel bad about the teasing.

Chandra couldn't answer, only dropped the phone on the table, face up, message displayed.

Saheeli grabbed it and read through. “Hey umm, guys? I think she did it”

Jace snapped his head up, bagged eyes wide. Ral raised his eyebrows lowering his laptop screen, Kaya smiled softly, and Huatli jumped up and hugged Chandra.   
  
“Ok now, what do?” she squeaked out to the group through the force of the hug.


	2. As the concrete collides, the scenery grows.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chandra plans and executes a cute little picnic. Nissa is charmed. A kiss happens. Saheeli is like, the best friend ever. However, trouble looms on the horizon.
> 
> I feel like it is obligatory but sorry for the delay. I have a good bit written without editing, but got frustrated (and a little overwhelmed) with an upcoming emotional scene (dialog got a bit too real) and and had to step away for a little bit. I'll aim for weekly uploads in the future. Plus I came up with a silly gimmick for chapter titles. 
> 
> Again, thanks to Para, and DarQuing for the support and encouragement.

“Meet me this Thursday night at Barrin Hall around 6:30 PM” Chandra stared at the unsent text. She had this planned but was convinced something would go wrong. She had double and triple checked everything possible. Food was bought and ready to prep, vegetarian to Nissa’s request. 

Chandra wasn’t an exceptional cook by any means, but fresh pita pockets stuffed with all kinds of good stuff was straightforward enough, portable enough, and a yogurt and fruit parfait for dessert. Now just to, you know, secure the actual other person for the date.

“Come on Chandra, are you still staring at that text?” Saheeli leaned on her doorframe, munching on a bowl of the leftover fruit.

Chandra jammed the *send* button down and let out a pained groan. “I'm gonna fuck this up I just know it. I should just dig in and study more.”   
  
“Hon, you have studied for like 3 weeks straight, you need a break. Besides, if it goes wrong come back and we can walk through the drafting problems again, or watch some sad movies or something. ”

Chandra’s response was cut by the vibration of her phone.   
  
“Quick reply? And you think she isn’t into you” giggled Saheeli, prompting a “myeah” face from the redhead.   
  
“Barrin Hall? On campus? Sure, I can make it. I have to admit I am curious” read the text.

“Well? What did she say?”

“She's ‘curious’, I hope this is going to work”   
  
“Listen, your idea is cute as fuck. Just be your charming goof self, don’t try too hard, and don’t get handsy until she does” a sly smile from Saheeli.

“Hilarious, you two have any plans tonight?” changing the subject away from her own woes.

“Huatli and I? Probably after she gets out of the theatre coming over to stream a movie with Kaya and the rest with some leftovers, you’re more than welcome to join, I can set up in the living room if you want.

Chandra briefly considered before nyxing the idea. “Thanks, but I think I'm going to crash early. Classes tomorrow and I don’t think I can put up with an entire movie-span of being made fun of relentlessly."

Saheeli smiled, “But Arathia has been working on new jokes all week!” she teased. If Kaya was sharp, her partners were the polish to her blades. “No worries lovie, let me know if you change your mind” She slipped out of the doorway, closing it behind her.   
  
Sighing at her laptop and the piles of reading she needed to review again, she decided to follow through on getting an early night. Saheeli was right, she had reviewed this material enough times that she could probably teach the lab section now. A final check of her alarm through her phone and she decided to reply to Nissa.   
  
“Cool, I’m looking hella forward to it! Glad I've gotten you curious,” she sent without second guessing herself. She turned on her music, and flopped onto the bed. 

“Come on, this is going to work. Does anyone actually say 'hella'? ” she said out loud to no one in particular.

The setting sun coming through the pink, purple, and blue flag she used as a makeshift curtain dyed the room a melange of colors as she slipped off to an early sleep.

The next few days passed uneventfully. She and Nissa exchanged some tentative flirtatious texts and studying was as tedious and stressful as ever. 

Chandra’s classes got out earlyish on Thursdays, so she had plenty of time to catch the bus home, grab her pre-prepared picnic bag, and hop back to campus in plenty of time.

It wasn’t so late in the year, but the weather had started getting cooler, and Chandra was glad she thought to bring her hoodie. The oversized shirt offered some security as well as keeping the chilly, late Autumn air out. She had a selection of “good luck” texts. She felt a pang of emotion for being lucky enough to have found a solid group of friends. In high school she was not exactly the top of the popularity food chain.

Checking the phone and the clock read “6:23” plenty of time early but not so early that it's weird.

As the time got closer, she got worried. She knew it was silly, but what if Nissa had just decided to ditch her. What if she was a creepy predator and had scared her off?

Before she could dig too deeply into self-doubt, she heard a voice calling out to her. Coming up the path came the subject of her worries. She had never seen Nissa not in her “coffee girl” uniform. She wore pretty plain flats, lightly distressed jeans, and a long tailored green jacket buttoned up the front.

“Ok, sorry! I had to change after my shift today. Didn't want to smell like work and coffee.” she smiled awkwardly, as if she had said something weird. “So, what is this _plan_ of yours?” her eyes softened meeting Chandra’s. She was stunningly pretty with emerald eyes that weakend Chandra's knees.   
  
“I promise this will be good!” Assured Chandra, “Come on in.” She indicated to enter the hall. Classes were largely finished for the day and some rooms had been taken up by assorted club or study groups. She led the other girl to the elevator. “Trust me on this, ok?”

Nissa smiled with a hint of confusion, “Trust you with the elevator?”

Chandra held down two buttons on the keypad and tapped out a few presses, the light for “R” lit up. 

“So, my Dad is an engineer who worked on elevators for a bit. He taught me the maintenance override code.”   
  
Nissa looked increasingly puzzled, but held out to see what the redhead’s plans were.   
  
The elevator door opened at a landing with a short flight of stairs leading up to a door. Chandra took Nissa’s hand and rushed up the staircase, the door swinging open freely. The roof had an incredible view of the library and the large fountain pond in front of it.   
  
“Ok, I'm...charmed?” admitted Nissa with a smile.   
  
“Oh, this isn’t the whole thing yet, here” she rolled the bag off her shoulder, producing a blanket, two small pillows, and the carefully packaged meals she had cooked up with minimal help from Saheeli. 

“Vegetarian, right?” Chandra grinned handing one of the plastic containers to the other girl.   
  
“Um, yeah, you remembered,” Nissa mused while taking the container and settling onto one of the pillows. 

"I listen! Also my roomate is vegetarian so it's not super unusual for me" 

Chandra checked the time on her phone. Few minutes to go. “Hope you like it, I figured pitas stuffed with fresh veggies and stuff couldn't go too wrong.”

Nissa had to admit the pocket was pretty good. “Do you cook often?”

“Only for cuties” Chandra shot a goofy grin, “but really no more than I have to. How about you? Are you a coffee fiend in your civilian life?    
  
“Not particularly, I like it but...strong drinks are often a bit much for me. Your order would be a way too much, dirty chai, right? So much going on and just...overwhelming. I love a good cup of tea or something similar though.”

“Aww, you remembered, yeah, it is a bit much of a flavor overload, but I’m addicted to them” She smiled awkwardly to try to diffuse any sort of tension.   
  
Nissa laughed softly, taking another few bites of her sandwich. “I'm sorry too, if I like...have a hard time with words sometimes? But this is super nice.”   
  
Chandra’s phone reminder buzz went off in her pocket. “Ah, here!” she indicated to the pond as the fountains all shut off in unison, leaving the water to a mirror sheen of the reflected Autumn sunset. “This is what I was aiming for.”   
  
Nissa marveled at the reflected streams of oranges, reds, and yellows were gorgeous in the pond. Perhaps even more so reflected in the other girl’s yellow-brown eyes. She nodded and smiled, unable to force out the words at the moment.   
  
Chandra gazed over the pond, and then to Nissa. “Hope this is good,” she said with a laugh.   
  
Nissa, still at a loss for words nodded emphatically. “It, I'm glad, it is nice. Very pretty” she said, more to Chandra than the water.   
  
Chandra smiled warmly in return, at a bit of a loss for words herself. She let the scene carry the moment for a while longer. “So, you said you're studying biology?”

Nissa struggled with another nod, finding the words to answer difficult. “Yeah. Botany specifically. I really like plants. They’re...consistent.” She admitted the last bit out of pure nervous energy. “I mean, umm, they have simple needs, and just kind of make sense to me”

Chandra nodded, “I can see that, like, you don’t have to worry about their moods or anything. Mechanics are a bit like that too, apply X amount of force and get Y output, every time. I mean, provided physics is still working” 

Nissa chuckled a bit. Her fears subsiding at this girl’s easy going goofy nature.   
  
“So, I like, saw your bag and bracelet and all. Not to assume, but…” Chandra left off a bit, realizing she had potentially breached a risky subject.

“You mean, ‘do I like girls?’” Nissa completed, feeling a little emboldened by the redhead’s acceptance.   
  
“I mean, I wasn't gonna ask it like, directly, but yeah, I guess.”

“I will have to try harder to let you know then.” Nissa said with a teasing smile. “The free dinner is nice and all, but I am enjoying your company mostly.”   
  
Chandra flushed, feeling like she had committed a critical faux-pax. “So um, after exams, my friends in the GSA are having a kind of mid-year blow-off party. I'd love for you to come with me if you would like to.”

Nissa was nervous at the idea of a party with a bunch of strangers, but had promised herself she would try to push her limits. “Sure, that sounds nice, we..." she paused, seemingly stuck in the sentence, "...shut down the coffee shop during break so I should be able to make it without issue.”

Chandra beamed, catching more of the blaze orange sunset in her hair and eyes as she smiled at the accepted invitation. “It's a really nice group, most of the people I study with and their others and friends and all. Jace is one of my closest friends and he and his housemate are throwing the whole thing.” She paused gently, “He has been super good for me since moving here.”

Nissa munched down a bit more on the remaining sandwich, not really knowing how to respond.

“Sorry, I mean. Like I got here and met a ton of people more like me and finally had somewhere to like, _exist,_ you know," Chandra said, looking at Nissa. "Sorry if that's a bit heavy,” she blurted out, feeling suddenly anxious about oversharing.

“No, you’re fine, I kind of know what you mean.” Nissa swallowed nervously, “I really only had one friend, until that kind of fell apart.”   
  
“You can talk about it if you want, you don't have to.”   
  
“It's ok, I mean, she like, understood me and was so patient and nice, things were good, then great, then intense, then bad and kind of ended without warning.”   
  
“Hey, I'm sorry to hear that, that sucks. You really like someone and they just turn on you?” Chandra dug into the bag, pulling out the remaining package of parfait and a pair of spoons. “Some sweets to take the edge off?”

Nissa took the spoon and nodded again, unable to find a coherent reply. Chandra scooted her pillow closer so they could easily share the container. They were not touching but Nissa swore she could feel the other girl’s body heat. The parfait was excellent, plain yogurt and fresh berries.

“Not too much?” Chandra asked thoughtfully, “Don’t feel like you have to force yourself to make me happy”   
  
Nissa shook her head, “No no, it's fine.”

“Hey, I’m sorry she did you wrong, if it helps I have had a string of disasters instead of relationships” She smiled and laughed self-deprecatingly.

Nissa looked over at the other girl and scooted a little closer, hips brushing against each other. “Kind of...it's not easy for anyone, is it?”

“Nah, it's rough, but this is nice.”

Nissa found herself smiling wide, “Yeah, it is.”

Chandra closed the remainder of the distance between them, Nissa responding by resting her head on her shoulder. They sat in comfortable silence while finishing up the parfait, watching the sunset, and enjoying each other’s warmth.

“I desperately hate to break this, but if I am going to not have to walk home I need to go catch the last bus,” Chandra admitted, though she really wanted to cling on for as long as she could.

Nissa made a small noise of acceptance and snuggled deeper into Chandra’s shoulder before separating. “Yeah, it's getting a little late isn't it?”

“Yeah, it is...I had a really good time tonight.”

“Me too, it's been a long time and this was really nice and…” she struggled, unsure of admitting the last bit, “...safe?”

“That's, honestly all I could hope for. Now, I hate to do this but I need to get packed up and head back.”

Nissa leaned in and helped condense the picnic materials. “Do you want me to walk you to the bus stop? I'm parked pretty close to it.”

“That would be nice, yeah, I would love for you to.”

They finished packing up in another comfortable silence. Descending the stairs and not needing an override for coming from the roof. It was a short walk back to the well lit set of benches at the bus stop.

“Hey,” Chandra asked down to the brunette. “I'd...uh, really like to do this again sometime.”   
  
Nissa flushed, unable to bring up the words to agree. Unfortunately, the last bus rounded the corner and slowed at the stop. With every ounce of bravery she could muster she closed in and, on her tiptoes, planted a warm kiss right on Chandra’s lips. Hoping that would be as good as a “me too”. The kiss was all too short, Nissa sinking back to her heels, smiling excitedly up at the redhead. “Me too.”   
  
Blinking in confusion, Chandra could only grin before realizing that the bus wouldn't wait and dashing off to catch it. “Text me!” she called back over her shoulder.   


Chandra took a seat on the mostly empty bus and took in the events of the night. She realized she hadn't checked her phone since the fountain reminder. She found that her small group chat was ignited with speculation on how her date went. Was this a date? She decided against feeding that fire and just relaxed in the excitement vibrating through her limbs.

The walk from the stop in her neighborhood was short and also well lit. She fumbled with her keys, unlocking the house she shared.

Saheeli called out to her, rushing in to find out how it went.

“Good, good, I think, really good,” Chandra murmured in response, she was in a state of dizzy excitement.

Saheeli peeked her head into Chandra’s room. “Need me to set you up a reservation on a U-Haul?”

“Hilarious” Chandra replied flatly.

“No, but really, I wanna hear about it.”

“Well, I think it went well, talked for a while, watched the sundown leaning on each other, and I think I got a goodnight kiss? I might have hallucinated the whole thing though.”

“Cute, more plans? Follow ups?”

“She said she would be into going to the party. She was nervous about the crowd, but needs to get out more.”

“Well, if you need Huatli and I can keep an eye on her. Uh, speaking of keeping an eye on, I don’t know if you saw the post, but _she's_ gonna be there with her new girlfriend. I know you’re back on speaking terms, but, I dunno, I felt the need to say... something? I just. I don't know. Look, I want this to work out for you and I don’t want her to try to mess it up, you know how she does. Keep an eye on Jace too, not that Vraska wouldn’t choke a bitch.” She paused and smiled, “Unless she’s like, into that?"

Ugh, it should be obvious Liliana would be there. She's still part of the group. She’s still fun, actually a blast to hang out with. That’s what started it in the first place actually. She just seems to always be at the center of drama.

*BZZT* Called Chandra’s pocket, sending a jolt of surprise through her, shaking her from the dread.

“Oooh, that must be something lewd, I'll leave you to it.” She smiled and ducked out, before popping back in for one last statement. “Hey, I’m glad for you. I sincerely hope this works out. Night night love.”

Rolling her eyes, Chandra stood to swap into sleepy clothes and cut the light. Remembering to check her phone before setting it on the table to charge.

“Had a really good time tonight. Sorry if the kiss was inappropriate, I sort of panicked and went for it. Hope I didn’t ruin it.”

Rolling into bed, oversized shirt and shorts, she struggled to formulate a response. 

“It was fine! Would you laugh at me if I told you I wanted to do it again?” No, that's too much. She erased it.   
  
“It's fine. I'm glad you did to be honest. It was really nice. For the record you can...” Ok, last bit too much, too. Erased again.   
  
“It's fine. I'm glad you did, to be honest. It was really nice. When can we hang out again? After exams?” Seems ok. She tapped the send button and sighed blissfully. 

*BZZT* “Sounds perfect, I'm going to sleep. Goodnight!” A few seconds passed before a follow up text came through “P.S. Thanks for the date <3”

Chandra drifted to sleep that night with ease, her dreams haunted by a pair of bright green eyes and a pair of lips suddenly pressed to hers in the cold Autumn air.


	3. To awake from its sleep and burst into green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chandra finishes that exam and now has the whole of next week to spend with Nissa. We meet some more friends and learn a bit about the social circles surrounding our pair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short one this time. Shooting for Fridays to post these. I'm tuning the party scene intensely. As sort of a centerpiece for the work, its important to me that it works.
> 
> Please also note that the whole "college party" atmosphere is mostly my own from around 10 years ago so it may come off dated.
> 
> The Taekwondo club appearance is 100% lifted from my life. The GSA and the Taekwondo club were pretty close and as such there was a mixing of cliques.
> 
> Getting such nice comments! I really appreciate them. They say to write what you want to read, and I'm glad that others enjoy my self indulgent rambling!
> 
> I have been working on *spicy* side stories and plan to upload some of them into a different work for yall that want to see the kissy stuff. (Also found that Judith is SO FUN TO WRITE so I have been doing that rather than finishing the party.)

Chandra didn’t have much time to pine over the next few days. Long study sessions, little sleep, and classes as normal. With the exception that she had someone other than Jace Et Al. to bother with texts. If she wasn’t working, Nissa was usually pretty quick to answer. Each response sending giddy sparks through her nervous system. 

Midterms came and went. Dr. Urza’s exam was rough, but she had prepared far too well for it to beat her. In fact she burnt through the packet so quickly she was sure she missed a page or something. After reviewing her answers twice and making sure there weren't pages stuck together or something she strode to the front of the room and handed the paper over the table to the poor grad student stuck babysitting. 

He blinked in mild surprise. “Done already?”   
  
“Think so, eight pages, right? I could swear I missed one but I triple checked it."

He flipped absently through the packet, glancing at each problem. Clearly he had suffered the same missed page fears. “Nah, looks like you’re good, enjoy your break.” He looked up and smiled. 

She nodded in response and smiled, “You too, Tef!” giving a tiny wave to Saheeli on her way out who just shook her head and went back to the exam.

Six weeks of stress off her back she stepped out into the chilly air, finally. Free for the break. Free to relax for a bit. Tomorrow is the party, recover all weekend if needed. Big party at Club Rakdos in the week. Most importantly, Nissa would be off. She remembered nervously that Saheeli had said she was heading to visit Huatli’s family next week, so that means house to herself. With Nissa. Alone. For a few days. 

“Don’t take things too fast,” she mentally warned herself. What even is “too fast”? A sinking anxiety drained the relief from her, fear of the inevitable rejection draining the color from the world. 

“Don’t screw this one up like you always do.” 

I won’t. 

“You will, you always fuck it up”. 

No. Not this time, she promised herself. 

Communicate, talk to her, you idiot. She’s a big girl and can express what she wants and doesn’t want and so can you.

She sighed as she approached the bus stop. This will be different. Realizing her phone was still off from the exam, she fished it out of her bag. 

Two unread messages, “Don’t know when you’ll get this but good luck! I know you were worried about this one. Working late tonight but looking forward to tomorrow <3” from Nissa.

“Hype for tomorrow? I FUCKIN’ AM. Jace will be back soon, you want to come over and pre-party a little? Just a few people.” from Gideon. Such a loveable goof. She had nowhere to be so why the hell not? It took the same bus as Gideon and Jace lived like a two minute walk from her house.

“Sure, omw,” she shot back to Gids. She took a minute formulating a good response to Nissa, “Thanks, I think I aced it! Excited for tomorrow too. Heading out with some friends tonight if you wanna catch up with us after you get off.” She wouldn’t get a response until later she re-assured herself.

Minutes later she found herself walking up to the porch of the house her friends shared. A typical college town rental property. Decorated by two boys with differing tastes, but it had its shabby charm about it.   
  
Gideon swung the door open seconds after she knocked. He was a big guy, filling the doorway with a beer in his hand and a look of absolute genuine thrill that she had arrived.

“HEEEEEY CHANDRA” He said a little too loudly, before slapping her up in a massive hug. “Glad you made it! Beer? Got some mixers too.” He stepped back and gestured to the bar dividing the living room and kitchen. “Little low on supplies, but that’s what tomorrow's for, right?” He smiled, taking the beer that Chandra had picked from the cooler, popping the top off with a keychain before handing it back. Gideon was the type of friend that she was glad to have, a big golden retriever of a person who’s greatest joy came from making his friends smile.

A mixed chorus of greetings came from the living room as she walked in. Tomik, Kaya, Arathia, Teyo, Huatli, and two people she didn’t know sat scattered around the wall used as an improvised projector screen, playing some footage Chandra guessed was a Taekwondo tournament with the sound off. 

“Oh yeah, I forgot, these two are Aurelia and Ajani, friends from Taekwondo.” Gideon introduced the two strangers. One a tall gorgeous redhead with almost angelic qualities, the other a mountain of man, beard, and hair. They waved to Chandra as she took a seat next to Huatli. 

“Nice to meet you two,” she said politely and Huatli threw her arm around her.   
  
“Tell me how it went, Saheeli only said ‘it went well.’ How did that panty-dropper of a date you came up with go?”

“Yeah, I heard you’re bringing a new _friend_ tomorrow. You should get her to come by tonight!” said Gideon, retaking his seat.   
  
“Ugh, I mean, she didn’t run and hide. She’s working until late. I invited her. Yes, the picnic went really well. She’s a bit shy so don’t you all run her off.” She answered, taking a sip of the beer and leaning back into Huatli's warmth.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Gideon said, throwing his arms wide as if to emphasize welcome. “Someone messes with her Aurelia will kick their head off.” Big sip of beer. “Right?”

The tall redhead smiled in response. “Sure thing.”

“Thanks…I think,” Chandra replied. Changing the subject, “Where’s Jace and Ral? I know Saheeli was still working on her exam when I left.”   
  
“Jace? He’s with Vraska, said he wanted to get a one on one dinner, probably be here later. Ral? I dunno,” Gideon answered, looking over at Tomik for further explanation.

“Ral is stuck in the labs. He has a big project to finish up due at midnight. He said he should be done before too long; that he only had to clean up some formatting and upload it.” Tomik filled in. He was a wonderfully polite guy, although Chandra didn’t know too much about him. Must have the patience of a saint to deal with Ral, and to follow Teysa around.   


“I wanna hear more about coffee girl!” Arathia asked without actually asking. 

“Leave her alone, hun.” scolded Kaya. 

“I wouldn’t mind hearing about her either, she's the petite brown haired girl that works in the library coffee shop, right?” Teyo asked much more gracefully.   
  
  
“I mean, I don’t know much more. I haven’t fucked it up yet, so that’s progress, I think.” Chandra took another swig of beer in the hopes that she would come up with a better answer while she drank. “Quiet, introverted, says she has trouble with words sometimes but is super sweet, bio major, loves plants.”

“I get top vibes from her, quiet ones always are, right Tomik,” teased Huatli, earning a roll of the eyes and a shake of the head from him and a soft swat from Chandra.

“I wouldn’t know yet,” admitted Chandra ungracefully, taking a swig of her beer.

The night continued onward along similar lines, thankfully mostly steered away from Chandra’s situation. Saheeli showed up not too long into the night. Jace and Vraska later. Ral sent his condolences but said there was an issue with the submission terminal and after resolving it he just wanted to go to bed.

It was late when Chandra’s phone alerted her to a new message. 

“Sorry, I had to stay extra late to clean up, short staffed tonight. If it's ok I really just want to go home and sleep. Hope that's ok, I just want to get rested and ready for tomorrow. Social things can be really hard for me so I need some time to mentally prepare. I really hope you're not mad.”   
  
Chandra felt a flood of mixed emotions at the text. On one hand, she mentioned tomorrow, so that seems to still be happening. On the other, it always made Chandra nervous when people back out of things, like they are avoiding her. She reminded herself it was a random sort of invite and not a planned thing, but still the worry ate at her stomach.   
  
“Ok, no worries, text me when you get home. I’m not staying out much longer myself.”   


The group thinned out before it got too awfully late, Gideon offering crash space if needed. Chandra was fine to walk back with Saheeli and Huatli, only having had two or three drinks. 

“Hey, so, am I being crazy that I’m worried that Nissa didn’t want to come out tonight?” asked Chandra as she and the two other girls walked back.   
  
“Not really. You get like this when you think someone doesn’t like you.” replied Saheeli. “She had a long night, was tired, and you said yourself she is shy. She didn’t like, tell you to go to hell or something. I know it worries you but I really think it's ok. She mentioned the party tomorrow, so thats good, right?”

Chandra nodded. Knowing that the gnawing dread was unreasonable. Saheeli was usually right about this kind of thing, sometimes it seemed like she knew Chandra better than Chandra did.   
  
Arriving at their house, and parting for the night, Chandra swapped to sleep clothes as soon as her door was shut. It would be stupid to tell Nissa about this fear, she didnt want to come off clingy. She felt the need to do _something_ though. 

A message came through, “Made it home. Making a snack then passing out. My everything hurts.”

An idea caught her. Crawling up under the covers, she snapped a quick selfie with the message “Soooo sleeeepy.”

A response came quickly, what looked like a timer shot of Nissa laying face down on her pillow, still in her coffee uniform, “No wake, me tire” followed by another “Sleep well cutie, Ill see you tomorrow <3”

Chandra sighed in some form of relief. “Sweet dreams to you too, I can't wait.” Feeling bold she sat up and snapped another selfie to attach, this one a kissy face with her hair carefully messed up to evoke maximum fluffy cuteness.   
  
It didn’t take too awfully long for Chandra to slip off to sleep.


	4. A graveyard or garden that waits for the spring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chandra pines. Nissa is a little late. Saheeli is the best. A present is given and we have a title.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Had a couple of rough mental health days. Regardless, I am having a blast writing this and think I may have a spinoff series in the works, but no promises yet.
> 
> This was intended to be the party chapter but it kind of blew up on its own and I am really happy with where it went. 
> 
> The plant is https://ceb.wikipedia.org/wiki/Echeveria_agavoides#/media/Payl:Echeveria_agavoides_(red).jpg 
> 
> I don't know much about succulents, but did some research and loved it.
> 
> Next chapter is the party, I am super concerned about it and have been re-writing it over and over.

Sunlight came streaming through the red, purple, and pink flag over Chandra’s window. For the first time in weeks, she woke on her own without an alarm shrieking her into consciousness. Taking a good long stretch, she rolled over to grab her phone. The group chat had been pretty active but nothing that she needed to pay attention to. No response from Nissa, but she had said she was exhausted. 

A warm smell caught her attention. Hopping out of bed and padding into the kitchen she found Saheeli standing at the stove with a steaming pan full of something savory and good smelling.

“Slept in a little? Care for some hash browns? Can make them with eggs and cheese if you want, just have to throw another handful in.” Saheeli offered as she worked the potatoes and stuff around in the pan. “Some coffee ready too, Huatli is a bit hungover so I figured something like this would help.”

A grumble came from across the room, Huatli sat leaning back on the futon, pillow over her face. “Too many sugary mixers aaaaaaaaa...”

“Give it some food and a shower and you’ll be fine,” Saheeli playfully scolded her girlfriend. “She's playing it up because she knows I’ll take care of her,” she joked as an aside to Chandra, eliciting another incoherent groan from the couch.

Saheeli insisted on serving Chandra first and divided the rest between her and the grumbling mass on the futon. It was just what she needed. Very few things are more deeply satisfying than potatoes, protein, and cheese. Coffee was also a welcome addition, spreading warmth through her as she ate.  
  
“So, what’s your plans today?” Chandra asked. It felt pretty nice to have a day free of commitments, aside from a good long hot shower and the party tonight.

“Not much, get this one recovered and maybe go out shopping or something before tonight? Haven’t really had a chance to just, de-stress, you know? Maybe go by and help the boys set up for the party; I'm sure some extra hands would be appreciated.”

Chandra nodded, a good de-stress was exactly what she needed and she intended to take full advantage of the time off from responsibilities. “I think I’m gonna just lay in bed for a while and play with my phone, just do nothing for a bit. I still need to figure out what I’m wearing tonight.”

“Choosing between the oversized flannel shirts and the oversized hoodie seems like a tough one,” Saheeli said with a sly smile.

“Nah, I mean it. I want to like... I dunno, ‘look nice’? Like maybe actually put some effort into it.” Chandra sighed, “Want to like, dress to impress, you know?”

Saheeli smiled, “I do, I do. Don’t go to all that effort and hide it under a huge hoodie though. Let me know if you want to borrow anything. My closet is always open to dig through if you want.”

She considered, but Saheeli was gorgeous and knew how to dress herself immaculately although her wardrobe was a bit femme for Chandra. She preferred more utilitarian things, which usually meant leggings or jeans, boots or flats, tees or tank tops, and a jacket or hoodie thrown over the top if needed. It's not like she has to get into a formal gown or something, just maybe a bit more effort than usual.

*BZZT* cut through her thoughts. A Snap of Nissa, on her back in bed, hair spread out, a sleepy look on her face, and a loose camisole letting a peek of cleavage through. “Morning” was the only text.

“Ooooh, is it her? What she say?” Saheeli prodded.

“Just ‘morning', and a pic, umm, super cute,” she said, deciding that it wouldn't really hurt to show her best friend, and handed over the phone.

“Girl, she must have spent a while setting up that shot.” Saheeli handed the phone back. “Tastefully risque without being lewd." 

Chandra couldn’t really formulate an answer, gazing back into those bright green eyes.

“Well, I'll leave you two to your sexting. Come on love, let's get you in the shower and steam that headache out.” Saheeli stood and directed her over-dramatic girlfriend to her side of the house. 

“Wait, what do I say back?” Chandra called to her roommate. This whole flirting thing was a huge mystery.  
  
“I dunno,” responded Saheeli over her shoulder. “Ask her when she's coming by today so you can plan around that."  
  
Not a bad idea. Chandra rinsed her dish and floated back to the comfort of her room while pondering what to say. She settled on a string of emoji: eyes, heart eyes, heart. “You look great, when did you want to meet up today? I figured you can leave your car here and we walk. It isn't far at all and it is well-lit.”

“I’m not sure, let me get a few things done here, crawl into a shower, and I'll text you when I am on my way, say around eight-ish?” came the almost immediate response. Were the emojis appropriate? Ugh, things would be so much easier if she weren’t terrified of any of her decisions blowing up in her face.

“Sounds good to me. Lemme join you in that shower, just like, from here, alone, respectfully,” sent her response. Admittedly a bit envelope-pushing but diffusing it with being a goof should make it ok?

“Hmmm, we will have to see, won’t we? Talk to you in a little while <3”. It took a few moments for the implied acceptance of her flirt to sink in. The first rush was excitement, followed immediately by sticky anxiety.

“Don’t go too fast,” her brain screeched at her. “You're just going to scare her off.”

She shook her head to clear the thoughts. She flopped back on her bed, put on some music, and did absolutely nothing but scroll pictures of dogs on the internet.

A while later, Saheeli and Huatli, now seemingly recovered, headed out. Chandra decided it was time for that shower she had promised herself. Grabbing a towel she made her way into her bathroom. Stripping down and looking herself in the mirror as the water heated up. Was she going to fuck this up? Would Nissa actually like, LIKE like her? Would they hook up a time or two and Nissa ghost off the face of the planet like others had done? Shaking off the feeling she stepped into the almost-too-hot shower and breathed all of the negative self-talk out. The heat of the shower seemed to drain the doubt and stress out of her.

After the heat started to run out, she stepped out, toweled off, dried her hair, and made her way to her room. Now came the hard part. Tossing the towel into the hamper, she stood in front of her closet and drawers. She grabbed a pair of underwear, then stopped, reconsidered, carefully selecting a cute pair of flirty cheeky boyshorts and a matching bra. Checking her selection in the mirror for a second before feeling satisfied enough to dive into her closet. Settling on a pair of new jeans and an as-femme-as-she-felt-able tanktop. 

Chandra loved how her eyes looked. She assured herself that _everyone_ looks better in eyeliner, and it was a night event, so like, a little extra is ok. She traced a thick line along her eyelid, then fiddled with the long-neglected mascara tube stuck in her makeup kit, dragging it through her lashes to a nice effect. A little bit of light lip stain and the look was satisfying. Granted it was pretty basic but still more than the norm for her. The effect brought all of the attention to her eyes, which was clearly her best feature, plus, if it got Nissa to look into them more, even better. 

She did a quick once-over in her full-length mirror. The jeans were a little tight but fitted as to highlight her thighs and butt, which she had to admit looked amazing in these pants. Discarding the top as “too cleavagey” she grabbed a semi-low cut tee shirt that fit just right. Be comfortable, that's what's important for this. The overall look was satisfying. A bit tight and form-fitting, but not overtly “Look at me!”. 

Checking the clock it was a bit after eight. Nissa said “eight-ish” so, should be any time now. She flopped onto the bed, phone close to hand. She struggled to resist the nervous energy growing in her chest. Seriously, was she ready for a physical relationship again? The thought of being physical sent a mixture of feelings through her. Sure, like, on a primal level, she wanted to end up in bed together, either tonight or soon. It's not like she hadn’t thought about it. Honestly, she had thought about it at great length and detail. Then again, she really does like her, and what better way to scare her off early? 

Still, Nissa’s Snaps _had_ been getting more and more risky. What if Nissa was ready but somehow something went wrong in Chandra’s head? What if they started and she freaked out or something? What if she got too excited and like, crossed some kind of line? What if they do, and then she gets fixated and like, clingy?

*BZZT* interrupted her quiet panic. She scrambled for the phone, thankful that her stupid little terror spiral got interrupted. 

“On way now, sorry to be late. Be there in 10-15, I hope I can make it up to you when I get there <3.”

An excited shiver ran down Chandra’s spine. Why does this have to be so complicated? What the hell does she say to that? Baffled, she went with her first impulse, “Look forward to it. Will see you soon!” Moments later she second-guessed herself, was that thirsty? 

Those 10 minutes passed in what felt like days. Chandra made her way to the living room as to not miss a knock, but was too anxious to sit so she ended up pacing the hallway between her room and the kitchen.

A soft knock rang out. She took a deep breath and opened up the door, revealing the girl she had been unable to get out of her mind for the past week or so. She wore that same green tailored jacket, but this time a low cut top, necklace, and leggings.

“Hey!” Nissa hopped through the door immediately into a big hug, followed by a soft kiss on the cheek. “Was worried I was about to knock on the wrong door.” She leaned back, looking up into Chandra’s eyes. “You look nice tonight.”

Chandra stumbled through a “you too” before stepping aside. “Come on in, you look cold,” she added, closing the door behind them.

“Thanks, it is getting chilly” she stepped into the living room, followed closely by Chandra. “Your place is cute, you said you live here with a friend from high school?”

“Yeah, Saheeli is out with her girlfriend right now, said they were going to head over early to help set up.”

Nissa turned around with a mischievous grin, “So, there's no one here?” she asked. Before Chandra could formulate a coherent answer the smaller girl had stepped in and placed another soft kiss on her lips, lingering for a bit longer this time. “Does that make it up to you?” 

Taken aback a bit, Chandra nodded. That girl took her breath away.

“Want to show me around? We have a bit, don’t we?” 

“Sure, just...” Chandra took a deep breath to ready herself. “I wanted to confess that I, well, I really like you, and I am terrified to do anything too fast or inappropriate or dumb. I have a history of things going too fast and jumping headfirst into things and they end up blowing up in my face. Not like, I don’t want you to kiss me or anything, I do, I _really_ do, but I just…”

Nissa cocked her head and gave a warm smile. “I understand. I like you a lot too, and don’t want to do anything that would make you feel bad. Would it help if I promise to tell you if something is too much? Like, without judgment.”

“That would be great.” Chandra’s mood eased a little, “I'll do the same thing.” Nissa’s eyes lit up and met Chandra’s.

“Oh yeah, the house,” remembered Chandra. Stepping around her and gesturing to the room divided by a bar. “Living room, kitchen. Not the best arrangement, but we try our best. Over there is Saheeli’s room. The house is sort of mirrored with each side having a bedroom, bathroom, and a small hall closet.”

Nissa nodded. “Oh!” she said with a shock, “I just remembered I brought you something.” She placed her purse on the sofa and dug for a moment before pulling out a small handful of something wrapped in newspaper. “For you.” She extended the bundle into Chandra’s hands. 

Inside was a small, spiny plant in a ceramic pot. A little green spiral with red tips.

“It's an _Echeveria Agavoides,_ or more commonly, a Lipstick Echeveria, or lipstick plant. I thought the green was really pretty, and the red suits you, right? Don’t worry about taking care of it too much, just water a little when the soil looks dry and put it somewhere it will get sun, like a window.”

Emotions welled up inside Chandra. “Niss, I...”

“It's fine, I'd have cut you one of mine, but it wouldn't have taken root in time. I got this one from the botany lab. Besides, I had to pay you back somehow for charming me off my feet with your _unconventional_ first date.” 

“Well, umm, thank you and you're very welcome. This is like, really sweet. Here, let's put this in my window.” Nissa followed down the hall leading into Chandra’s room. “It's a bit of a mess? Like, not bad but exams have been stressful.”

“I'm sure it's fine,” assured Nissa as Chandra opened the door and gestured for her to go first. “See, you just need to do some laundry and stuff.” She turned to Chandra, “I thought for a second when you warned me it would be a disaster.”

Chandra laughed softly, “No, that’s just me,” she said, moving the pride flag aside slightly and placing the small pot on the windowsill. “Just water it when it gets dry, right? I'm going to have to pin back my flag a bit so I can see it.”

“Honestly, you can basically forget about them and they will do fine. I like your flag, by the way, I take it you’re bi?”

Chandra smiled. “What clued you in?” 

“I don’t know, call it a feeling I got from somewhere.” Nissa returned the smile. “Now, don’t we have a party to get to?” she asked, extending her hand.

Chandra took it and they made their way out to the party, hand in hand for the first real time.


	5. She was grateful for everything that had happened And she was anxious for all that would come next

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party has arrived! Liliana is going to cause problems for no reason!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was delayed due to rewrite upon rewrite. I'm very nervous about this one for some reason. Ended up splitting the chapter to keep them roughly around the same length.

Holding hands was a thrill for Chandra. The sort of "first kiss" excitement you feel in the base of your spine. She felt giddy in a way she had only barely remembered possible. They walked silently, just comfortable in each other's company.

They heard the party before they saw it. Gideon and Jace's place, with a cluster of smokers on the porch. Teysa was seated with Tomik attached at her hip as always, as they chatted with a slender, stylish man and his stoic companion. A tall, thin lady with dark red hair gesturing exaggeratedly with her lit cigarette seeming to be in the midst of a wild story, and with her stood Liliana Vess. 

Before they could make it in unnoticed, Liliana had spotted them.

"Heeeeeey Chandra!" She called, rushing over and tightly embracing her. "You're laaaaate! And who's this you're with? Holding hands in public? How  _ lewd! _ " Liliana joked, turning her focus to Chandra's companion.

"She's Nissa," answered Chandra, quickly aware that she needed to divert attention from the other girl. "Glad you could make it Lili, I saw your post that you were bringing your new ladyfriend, is that her over there?" She gestured to the tall lady on the porch, still in the middle of some elaborate story.

"Judith! Yes, you really should come to see her perform with me sometime! Especially one of her rope shows! You'd love it, even if you're a bit vanilla. Sooo, Nissa, you look super familiar, where have I seen you?" Liliana deftly sidestepped Chandra’s attempted diversion.

"She works in the library coffee shop," Chandra interjected as Nissa squeezed her hand. 

"No no no no, that's not it, someplace else," Liliana pried.

"Bio lab, you're in the section before mine I think." Nissa offered.

Liliana grinned, "That's it, I'd recognize your eyes anywhere, you should come too! I mean, provided you're  _ into _ that sort of thing." Nissa subtly shrank into Chandra’s side.

"Come on, you've gotta meet Judith!" Liliana took Chandra's arm, dragging her up onto the porch, Nissa following behind.

"... so I said, you can keep the chair!" Shouted Judith, seemingly as the punchline of her story, sending the others on the porch into laughter. She was tall, lithe, and wore dramatic makeup.

"Judith, this is Chandra, a friend of mine from freshman year," Liliana indicated.

Judith, turning to look at the trio, took a quick drag of her cigarette before flashing a wicked grin, extending her hand. "Charmed," she said, taking Chandra’s hand and kissing it.

Teysa stood, Tomik steadying and passing her cane to her. "As fun as this is, I do need another drink," she interrupted. "You two, shots?" She asked toward Chandra and Nissa.

"Yeah, let's," agreed Chandra, following the dark haired woman with Nissa close behind.

"Hey, Chandra, save some for me ok? We'll be in a bit!" called Liliana.

"Sure thing," she replied, intertwining her fingers with Nissa's.

Getting inside, people clustered into groups filled the room, music playing vaguely in the background. Making their way to the kitchen, Teysa called back to Chandra.

"Figured you needed a way out of that. I'm Teysa by the way, and this is Tomik," she said, turning to Nissa. "Vess can be a bit much. Drinks?" 

Nissa nodded, and Teysa passed a trio of cups to Tomik who filled them with a bright red liquid from a cooler on the bar. He then handed one to each of the ladies before filling his own.

"I gathered," Nissa replied, taking her cup from Tomik.

"Teysa, you're being too diplomatic. The wording you're looking for is 'heinous bitch'," came an agreeing voice from behind them. Ral stepped around, offering a permanent marker to Chandra.

Nissa watched as Chandra scribbled her name on the side of her cup, passing the marker to Nissa who followed the example then returned it to Ral.

"’Ral’ by the way... you're the coffee girl Chandra has been pining after, right?"

"Shut it," returned Chandra before Nissa could think of a reply. "Where's Gids and Jace? Haven't seen them yet."

"Gideon is probably out back, some of the Taekwondo club decided to get a little too rowdy in the living room so we moved them somewhere more appropriate. Jace isn't here yet, he and Vraska had to grab some last minute supplies," Tomik answered.

"Thanks. And thanks for the rescue, Teysa," replied Chandra, taking Nissa's hand and weaving their way through the crowd to the back door.

"Chandra, what the hell just happened there?" Nissa asked as they stepped out of the house.

"Yeah, Liliana, she and I…" She was interrupted by being lifted off her feet from a sudden hug. 

"Chandra! You made it!" Gideon set her back down. "This must be Nissa, right?" He said, turning to the brunette and extending his hand.

"Arghch, Gids, yes, this is her. Niss, this is Gideon," Chandra groaned, steadying herself. 

Nissa took the hand, Gideon gently squeezing and nodding as if to remember her face. "Welcome, nice to meet you. Let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks, will do." Nissa replied. 

"Chandra, kegstand? Can't get anyone to do one first." Gideon urged, his tone changing from serious to silly.

"Wow, no thanks Gids, I'd fall flat on my head," replied Chandra, laughing.

"Awww, let me know if you change your mind," he said, smiling down at Chandra.

"I'm pretty sure she just doesn't want to be felt up by karate goons while she guzzles cheap beer," said Huatli, joining the conversation with Saheeli close behind her.

"Nah, these are good people, I 100% vouch for them. Besides, anyone lays a hand on you and I'll break their fingers," Gideon replied, laughing.

Saheeli stepped around her girlfriend being loud with Gideon, "Nissa, right? I'm Saheeli, Chandra's roommate. I've been hearing a lot about you and am glad to finally meet you." She said, taking Nissa's hand.

"Sai, don't be embarrassing," whined Chandra.

"Chandra, you have only talked about Dr. Urza's Mech E exam, and this girl for a week straight. Besides, I'm allowed to embarrass you a little."

Nissa shook the hand, blushing a little. "I'm glad to have made such an impression… I think."

Saheeli smiled in that disarming way only she had fully mastered. "A very good impression, yes. This is my partner Huatli, by the way." She tugged on the other girl's sleeve, who was distracted in a play argument with Gideon. 

"Sai has been my best friend since like 10th grade." Added Chandra. "If anyone is allowed, she is." 

Nissa sipped her drink, a surprisingly sweet concoction of mixed fruit juices with a vague alcoholic burn. She had drank before, but not often. The building warmth softened her anxieties a little.

"So, how did you two meet?" Nissa asked, feeling slightly more socially confident.

"Honors chemistry with Doctor Daretti," replied Chandra.

"Lab partners to friends, a classic trope," joked Saheeli. Chandra joined in laughing with her. Nissa admired their friendship for a minute. "Nobody else would take the quiet studious closet lesbian or the closeted bisexual disaster, so it was a natural fit."

"I'm not a…total disaster," replied Chandra in mock hurt.

"We'll see," said Saheeli slyly. "If you will excuse me I need to extract my girlfriend. You two behave."

"Oh yeah, Chandra, gonna fire up the grill in a bit, burgers, and brats." Gideon turned back into the conversation. "You too Niss."

"Maybe some for me, Niss is a vegetarian though."

Nissa shrunk softly at the thought of being an imposition.

"No problem, got a box of veggie burgers and a freshly cleaned, cross-contaminate free grill. I'll fire up those first." He replied with a big warm grin. "I'm out though so I need to get another beer, you two need anything?"

Nissa shook her head, Chandra replied "Nah, we're fine, thanks though."

Gideon nodded and returned to the other side of the patio, reaching into a long cooler to grab another bottle.

"He's sweet," observed Nissa to Chandra softly. "Intimidating at first but…" she trailed off looking for the words.

"Big teddy bear?" Chandra suggested. Nissa smiled and nodded. "Bit chilly out here. Wanna duck back inside and see what's going on? Maybe a refill?"

Nissa realized that her cup had gone empty. She also remembered how pretty Chandra was. She had, however, completely forgotten about Liliana. She smiled and nodded, as Chandra ducked back inside with her.

As they entered the kitchen, Kaya, Arathia, and Teyo stood with the girl from the other night. Aurelia, wasn't it?

Arathia noticed Chandra first and leapt through the middle of the conversation circle to give her a big hug. This one much less impactful, as Rat had about a quarter of the muscle mass of Gideon, but matched in spirit.

"Chandra! Is this coffee girl!?" They asked, clearly a little inebriated already.

"Yes, Rat, this is Nissa. Nissa, this is Arathia, but they go by Rat. Over here: Teyo, Kaya, and Aurelia," introduced Chandra.

Nissa nodded, struggling to force the names into her increasingly muddled memory. 

"Nice to meet you finally," smiled Teyo.

"Glad to meet you. You make an exceptional London fog," greeted Kaya.

The tall red headed lady smiled in their direction.

Chandra passed a freshly full cup to Nissa. "Hey, pace yourself, this stuff doesn't taste like much but it is strong."

Nissa nodded, taking a small sip and zoning into the conversation going on. She became aware that she needed to pee, panicking for a second she leaned over to Chandra and asked where the bathroom is. She indicated it was down the hall to the other side of the kitchen.

"Want me to go with you? I mean, walk you there?" Chandra asked, unsure of how to handle social anxieties but still trying.

"No, I got this," Nissa assured, more to herself than to the other girl. She handed her cup to Chandra and made her way down the hallway. Finding the end of the apparent line, she stood and waited. 

She glanced over her shoulder as someone got into the line behind her. Panic surged through her when she saw it was that incredibly intense girl from when they got there.

"Heeeeey there Nissa, glad you could make it. Hope you're taking care of my dear Chandra." 

Nissa nodded, scrambling through her pocket to find her phone or something to distract herself.

"Good, she's had such a rough time with romance. I mean, I don't think she's actually dated anyone since we split up, poor thing."

Nissa stiffened a little at that. "You and she?" She started, unsure of what she was aiming to ask.

"Dated? Well, kind of. Habitually fucked is more accurate, still, she is dear to me, even after we called that whole thing off. Oh, you didn't know?" Nissa could swear that Liliana flashed a smile under the look of concern.

"We really haven't talked much about that sort of thing." Nissa replied. "Really none of my business at this point."

"How enlightened of you, still if you want some tips. Let me know, I mean, she loves it when you nibble about riiight about here." Liliana ran a long finger over her collar bone. "Drives her crazy."

"Thanks, I ummm..." Nissa looked ahead, line one person to go. A guy so hopefully will be quick.

"Really, I'm glad for her. I just hope she doesn’t fall apart on you."

Nissa blinked. Guy in bathroom, almost safe.

"So, if you want any other tips, hit me up. If you come to one of Judith's shows make sure to bring her. They are always exciting, who knows, might give you two some  _ ideas _ ."

Nissa nodded, unsure of how to answer. "Thanks?" With that she ducked into the bathroom after the guy in front of her left.

Rushing to the toilet she grabbed her phone.

"So, ran into you ex."

"What?"

"Liliana, she cornered me in the bathroom line."

"Shit, Niss, I'm sorry. What she say?"

"Well, you two didn't so much date as 'habitually fucked' - her words."

"Yikes, do I need to come get you? Run interference?"

"No, I'm fine."

She cut the screen on her phone and shoved it back in her pocket. She washed her hands and looked into the mirror. Was this whole thing a mistake? 

Shaking the feeling off and drying her hands she exited the bathroom, finding a smiling Liliana waiting by the door. She rushed past her. Hearing "Laters!" in a sing-song tone behind her.

Chandra was in the kitchen where Nissa had left her. Rat was chattering at her about something and she looked concerned. Her face brightened as she saw Nissa.

"Are you ok?" Chandra asked seriously.

"Im...fine," replied Nissa. Her judgement felt cloudy.

"Do you want to go? We can leave if you're not having fun."

Nissa took her drink back and downed it, handing it back to Chandra for a refill. She reluctantly poured a half cup and handed it back.

"Sorry, just kind of, I don't know, fucked me up."

"Wanna go outside and talk about it?"

"No. I'm sorry.” She took a deep breath to center her emotions. “I want to try to have a good time.”

Chandra nodded, "Remember, I promised to tell you if something was too much."

"Yeah, I remember. Emotions are hard for me sometimes and I just needed a minute to calm down."

"Ok, please tell me though. Also, we should clear out of the kitchen, Liliana will probably be coming back through here."

"I think I can deal. Listen, I'm sorry I got emotional. It's like anger and fear and sad all at once and it's hard to control and I'm so embarrassed you had to see me like that."

Chandra leaned in, hugging Nissa close. "It's ok, I accept your apology."

The front door opened and a drunken cheer erupted from the living room. Glancing around the corner they saw Jace and Vraska arrive, each carrying grocery bags, followed by the big stoic guy from earlier carrying what must be the rest.

"Jaaaaaace!" Cried out Chandra as he rounded the kitchen corner. He looked his normal exhausted self, but smiled to see Nissa standing next to her.

"Sorry I'm late," he hoisted the bags onto the counter. "To my own house." He took the bags from Vraska, placing them adjacent, followed by the big guy.

"Thanks Garruk, you're a doll" Vraska cooed at the big man who smiled, nodded, and made his way back out front.

Chandra had only met Vraska a few times. She was tall, dark skinned, with long dreadlocks. Jace seemed to have a thing for intimidating, incredibly beautiful women. 

"Chandra, so good to see you, and this must be Nissa. So glad you both could make it." Vraska smiled at them both.

"Nissa, this is Vraska, and the sleepy guy over there is Jace."

"Pleasure." Nissa nodded to Vraska and Jace made an affirmative noise.

Chandra stepped closer to Jace, Nissa couldn't hear what she was saying to him.

"Nissa, I'm so far behind, want to do a shot?" Vraska smiled down at the brunette.

"Sure, but maybe not too strong?" 

"Have the perfect thing," Vraska said, reaching for a brown bottle and producing four shot glasses from the cupboard. She filled the first three and the last a little over halfway. She handed the half-filled one to Nissa and two of the others to Chandra and Jace.

"Here's to the end of midterms, to friends, and new romance" Vraska toasted. 

They each downed their shots, Nissa was pleasantly surprised as the shot tasted almost like a melted chocolate milkshake than straight liquor.

"Are we doing shots, pour me one next, will you Vraska, sweetie?” Liliana strode into the room as if they had been waiting for her. “Ooh, Irish Cream! I haven't had that since we did shots at Will and Rowan's birthday and I lost my underwear before we got back to your place. Remember that, Chandra?"

“I seem to remember carting your drunk ass around downtown for a while after that,” Jace grumbled, pouring a shot while Vraska seethed at the incursion.

"Eh, details," she waved off, taking the shot from Jace. Toasting to Chandra, "To old flames," She downed the shot. "And  _ new _ ones." Placing the shot glass upside down on the counter nearest Nissa with a sly grin.

"Ugh, Lili, save it. We were just going outside, weren't we Niss?" Chandra slipped an arm around Nissa's shoulder, gently guiding her away and out to the patio.

"No worries! I need to get back out to Judith anyway." Liliana said dismissively. Turning and smiling at Jace, "Nice to see you again, by the way."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that underwear story is (sort of) true! We never found her underwear or figured out how she lost it (she made it home safe though)
> 
> The chair joke is based on a silly theatre joke that isn't funny in the retelling, but provides a good (nonsense) punchline.
> 
> I was very concerned that I oversold the threat Liliana posed, and rewrote this section at least 6 complete times.
> 
> I also hope I articulated Nissa's emotional overload. As noted before a lot of this is based upon my own life, and the whole "feeling 7 emotions at once and knowing its all wrong" is just a place I've been too much.
> 
> The Taekwondo/GSA party is laterally based upon spending a lot of time with both my last few semesters of undergrad, leading to a unique mix of friend groups. 
> 
> Gideon's personality is based almost whole cloth off of my friend who lives in Taiwan now.
> 
> Thanks for the patience and the kind words. They said to write what you want to read, and I want to read soft, low-conflict, angsty pining.
> 
> There is a *lot* of cut content, particularly some that may turn into a (MA rated) spin-off following Judith and Liliana. 
> 
> Next time: the party continues, Gideon is sweet, Judith is extra (and a blast to write dialog for), and things go a bit wrong.


	6. A Poetic Retelling of an Unfortunate Seduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party ends, however; Nissa has had a bit too much to drink and makes a bit of an ass of herself. Will they patch this back up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay again! Mental health has made getting writing done rough. I edited this down and was putting off posting it due to it being so short but, fuck it, enjoy yall! 
> 
> Short one this time, more to come though. 
> 
> Judith is an absolute blast to write.
> 
> Alcohol sick CW here, I tried to keep it as not-gross as possible, but when you drink a lot things tend to happen.
> 
> Once again, heavily based on real events.

Volunteers carried a few of the bags out to Gideon, who, good to his promise grilled up the box of veggie burgers first. Distributing one each to Nissa, and to her surprise Chandra.

"Figured I'd give it a shot," Chandra explained as they took a seat off to the side of the patio. 

Nissa smiled at the gesture. The burger was fantastic and didn't have that telltale "didn't clean the grill" taste that so often forecast an upset stomach. 

The other two Veggie burgers went one to Saheeli, and one to one of Gideon's club friends.

Chandra welcomed the food, it soaked up some of the alcohol. She also noticed that Nissa seemed to be loosening up. A hand on hers, sitting hip to hip, a hand on the small of her back. Nice little gestures that were really welcome.

As the meat's finished grilling, Judith entered the backyard. It wasn’t just stepping out of the door, it was an entrance. She had an undeniable stage presence. Of course, she was flanked by Liliana.

"Need some fucking MEAT!" Judith loudly declared before sinking her teeth into the burger.

Nissa visibly shrunk a little at the sight of Liliana. Chandra put a hand on her back to reassure her.

"Hey, it's ok, remember what Ral said?" Chandra said with a smile.

Nissa laughed, "You're right, and so is he apparently"

After the dinner rush, Judith seemed to procure the lighter fluid from Gideon, dousing the ends of two things on ropes.

Liliana swooped in next to Chandra. Seeing the two of them that close brought a bitter taste to Nissa's mouth that she dismissed as silly jealousy.

"I got her to bring these, watch, this is awesome" Liliana said excitedly to Chandra.

Judith stripped off her jacket, down to a form fitting top and tight leggings. Clearing the center of the back yard, Gideon obliged her, lighting the two objects on the ends of the ropes and cleared away as Judith began a practiced routine, spinning the flaming torches in a sort of dance.

The house seemed to empty out to watch the display. As the spinning flames began to diminish she threw them straight up, catching the two ropes as they fell and ending in a flourished bow.

The assembled crowd cheered. Chandra and Nissa included. 

"Thank you, thank you, you can see more at the Theatre of Horrors show, and even  _ more _ at the Theatre of Horrors  _ After-Dark  _ show, not for the prudish, priggish, or puritanical, those faint of heart, or weak of stomach! A veritable cavalcade of calamity. Fire, blades, blood, ropes, lust, pain, knives, mayhem, and the raw bleeding ecstacy of sheer carnal terror await those who dare enter and become the personal captive audience of I, your Scourge Diva!" Judith hyped to the crowd before indulging herself in another deep bow.

It was an impressive show. To Chandra, Liliana almost seemed like her old self for a moment.

Judith, having retrieved her jacket, confidently exited the impromptu stage, heading directly to Liliana.

"After-Dark means you might see a titty." she said as if she was telling a secret of the trade.

Liliana leapt up, embracing Judith, planting a kiss on her cheek. "You looked fantastic darling!"

"I missed a few of the crossovers, but you wouldn't know it. AND I didn't fuck up the pitch. Careful hugs love, I am so sweaty."

"Classy." Chandra heard Nissa murmur to no one in particular, the spell of the performance broken.

"Hey, want to go back inside? Seems the majority of the party has moved out here" Chandra asked.

Nissa nodded.

Inside, people had pushed the furniture to the walls as a sort of improvised dance floor. Someone had plugged a laptop into the sound system and was blasting some hard dance music. 

"Wanna dance?" Chandra yelled over the music.

"I don't know how!"

"Dont worry about it, come on!" Chandra took her hand and pulled her to the side of the dance floor.

It was loud and terrifying, but Nissa somehow felt safe with Chandra. Like nothing bad could happen tonight.

As the song reached an emotional peak, Nissa leaned in for a kiss, which Chandra returned gladly. Nissa broke the kiss with a soft nip at Chandra’s lip.

Nissa's eyes were beautiful, reflecting the holiday lights along the ceiling like tiny stars. She looked so small and so fragile to Chandra. 

They danced for what felt like hours. Eventually the floor thinned out, guests said their goodbyes and people started to filter out.

"You sure you don't want to stay here? It really is no problem, you two can have my bed if you want it, I'll find a couch or my car or something." Gideon offered.

"Gids, it's a 2 minute walk back and we haven't drank that much, we will be fine." Chandra assured him. "Besides, other people that shouldn't be driving should get priority for crash space."

"Ok, well - be safe, text me when you get there."

"Of course Gids, love ya'" Chandra gave him a final hug and they set out.

"Have a good time?" Chandra asked as they rounded a street corner.

Nissa nodded, smiled, and snuggled up under Chandra's arm. Sending dual spikes of terror and excitement through Chandra’s chest.

"Hey - you're cute" Nissa giggled out. "I - uhh - like you a lot."

"Good, I uhhhh - like you a lot too."

"But...do you think I'm  _ cuuuuuute _ ?" 

Chandra stammered over a reply, blushing furiously. Before she could get anything coherent out, Nissa slipped free of her arm, running a few feet ahead and turning to face her.

"How about now?" She slurred, grabbing the hem of her shirt, lifting it above her head, along with her bra in a swift motion. Exposing her bare torso under the streetlights.

Chandra stood, frozen in place, dumbfounded.

"FUCK its cold." Nissa wailed, pulling her shirt back down, adjusting it into place. 

Soul returning to her body, Chandra dashed a couple of steps to catch up, brain not quite registering.

"Niss, you're cute, maybe let's get you inside though." 

Aiding the increasingly off-balance girl up the steps proved to be a small challenge, but, fumbling with her keys and unlocking the door. Home, safe.

"You can have my bed if you want, I can sleep out here if it's weird." She pulled out her phone and sent Gideon a quick "Home safe. Night!"

"Noooo, I wanna - I want you, Chandra" she stepped in, kissing Chandra's neck gently, hands sliding under the back of her shirt, warm against her skin.

"Niss, we need to get you into bed, get some water for you and let you sleep this off."

"Iwaannagetyouuuimmbed"

"Honey, no, you are far too drunk to even consider something physical. Come on, to my room, it will be more comfortable."

Stopping as they crossed the doorway, Nissa leaned into Chandra, nibbling up and down her neck gently.

A sudden pause went through Nissa, she turned and bolted to the bathroom.

Chandra wasn't far behind as Nissa collapsed in front of the toilet. Making quick work, Chandra pulled Nissa’s hair into a tight ponytail before rushing into the kitchen to grab a plastic water bottle and a towel. Nissa was in the same place she left her, heaving into the toilet.

"Fuck - I'm - sorry I didn't mean to," she sobbed before more alcohol forcefully escaped from her.

Chandra sat on the cool tile with her, softly rubbing her back. "Shhhh, Niss, it's ok. This happens to everyone sometimes. You're ok, just drank too much. It's my fault if anything, I should have watched you better. Here, I brought you some water and a towel if you need it. You probably don't feel like it yet, but you should drink a little water if you can."

A soft knock at the door distracted Chandra, Saheeli had come to investigate the sobbing and retching. She mouthed "Is she ok?"

Chandra nodded and smiled, continuing to lightly massage Nissa’s back.

"No - I mean I - I hoped we could…" gagging again into the toilet. "If you wanted to I mean…"

"It's ok, we can talk about this tomorrow, just let me take care of you right now."

"Listen! - I like you a lot and I hoped that - we could maybe - I wanted to - I wanted to fuck ok!? I mean, I  _ shaved _ for this." 

Chandra didn't really know how to process that confession, Saheeli's eyes went wide and she stepped out as if to excuse herself from a private conversation.

"Let me know if you need anything, ok?" Chandra nodded,

"I mean - only if you wanted to, and you seemed like you did - and then I fucked everything up getting sick." She sobbed onto the toilet seat. 

"Honey, no. You didn't fuck anything up." She softly pat her back.

"No, because I - I really like you and things were so nice and." She gagged again. "You're so fucking hot and smart and cool and sexy and clever and nice andnemenfjfphshdoh" she degenerated into sobbing.

Chandra just held her, softly petting her hair. 

Over time the vomiting slowed. She agreed to drink some water. The hysterical sobbing ceased. Eventually, Chandra convinced her to shuffle into the bedroom, provided her with a change of clothes, and got her set up in her own room. 

Did I do this right? She wondered to herself as she grabbed an extra blanket and pillows from the hall closet.

Did I really just ruin everything?


	7. Things so simple in the moonlight by morning seem so complicated.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst and panic. Lots of dialog this chapter. Chandra jumps to conclusions and our story nears its conclusion!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit rough. Chandra is heavily based on me and as such jumps to conclusions.
> 
> Again, a lot of the stuff is based on reality. Yes, I once almost threw my friend through a window helping him do a kegstand.
> 
> Saheeli has committed to be the best friend on the planet and I love her so much after writing her as such.

Chandra awoke to a stinging headache and the sun coming screaming through the living room blinds. Shoulders sore from the boney metal of the futon. Huatli had once compared it to "sleeping on monkey bars".

Hazy memories of last night leaked in. NISSA! She bolted upright and ran down her hallway to find the door to her room standing open, bed empty. Out front, her car was gone. 

Good job Chandra you managed to fuck it up again. All she could do at that point was sit down on the futon and cry. 

Checking her phone, which she had conveniently forgotten to charge, she had three new messages. 

Gideon: "Night"

Nissa: "I went home. I am so sorry about last night. I'll understand if you don't want anything to do with me anymore."

Nissa: "I'm sorry"

Getting her emotions under control, Chandra read the texts over and over. Struggling to compose a reply but finding no words.

"You are such a fuck-up," she muttered to herself. Tossing her phone onto the table.

"Cha, where is Nissa?" Saheeli came from her hallway, responding to the sounds of crying from the main room.

"I - I fucked up."

"How? What? No, what happened?"

"She left."

"I see that, did she say anything?"

"Text." Chandra meekly indicated her phone.

Saheeli grabbed it, quickly reading through the messages. "How does this indicate that  _ you _ fucked up?"

"She doesn't want me anymore."

"That...isn't what this says at all." Placing the phone back to the table, hugging Chandra from behind.

"Cha, you know you  _ have _ to text her back, right?"

"There's nothing I can say. She left - she doesn't want me anymore."

"Dude, she outright told you she wanted to have sex, and then cried because you couldn't. I think that means she's into you. Look, tell her 'it's ok' and you still like her. She's probably embarrassed right now. I know I would be mortified. Send that, in your words, and give her space and time. I know that is difficult for you, but Huatli and I are here today. You can rely on us for this right now to keep you occupied."

"I - I don't know what I'd do without you Sai," Chandra leaned into a hug.

"Now, send that text."

Chandra steadied her nerves with a deep breath, picking up the phone and sending. "Hey, I hope you're feeling ok. I had a really good time with you last night and would love to see you again soon, if you're ok with that."

Saheeli wandered toward her hallway, "I'm going to get Huatli up and maybe we go for breakfast? Dense diner food will soak up that hangover, and probably put you in a better mood."

Saheeli was absolutely correct, a double order of hashbrowns, cheese eggs, sausage, and a waffle were the perfect hangover cure. Getting to hear about their party adventures and share her own sort of put things into an easier to handle perspective. 

"So Ajani on one side, me on the other, and Gideon fucking jumps. We almost tossed him across the yard. You don't jump when you do a kegstand!" Huatli snorted. "Good thing that boy seems to be invincible."

Upon returning, Saheeli insisted Chandra get a shower. "You'll feel so much better after I promise!"

Sure, she went to check her phone first. Nothing. "Time and space, time and space, Chandra" she repeated to herself as she climbed into the hottest shower she could manage. 

A clean change of clothes later, no reply yet. Some laundry, dishes, general cleaning chores. Still nothing. Thorough scrub of the bathroom, nothing. 

Saheeli, ever vigilant, roped Chandra into watching a "dumb ass action movie" with her. Watching this low budget, low talent, low effort action film and mocking it relentlessly brought a specific nostalgia from their 10th grade sleepovers. A time before everything went wrong.

"Chandra, that is the twentieth time you have checked your phone during this movie." Saheeli threw some popcorn.

"Sick as she was? She's probably asleep." Huatli mused.

"Here, Cha, you're making dinner with me. I'm going to take your phone, and set it here." She placed the phone on the middle of their kitchen table. "If it rings or vibrates, we will all hear it, ok?"

Chandra nodded in agreement.

"Ok, good, now, dinner?"

Cooking with Saheeli was always so nice. She came from a large family and she ended up coordinating a lot of mealtimes. 

Dinner drew to a close.

*BZZT*

Time froze.

Chandra and Saheeli lunged for the phone, Saheeli grabbing it first. 

"What did she say?" 

Saheeli scanned the message, a smile appearing across her face. She said nothing but slid the phone across the table to Chandra.

"Chandra, I royally fucked up this morning. I woke up in a strange room, feeling terrible, memories came back and I made such an ass of myself last night I was humiliated. I ran. I'm sorry."

*BZZT*

"I ran home, I fell asleep. I meant to sleep for an hour or two, then call you, but, instead I slept for ten hours. I must have worried you sick."

"I was so scared when I woke up and you were gone."

"I know, I know, I can't explain why I ran."

"Niss, I'm not mad, I don't hate you, you didn't ruin anything."

"I made such an ass of myself in front of your friends."

"They were all drunk, I've seen them worse."

"To you too though. I'm so sorry you saw me like that."

"I had a really good time with you, it sucks that you got sick, but I don't hold that against you."

"I had a really good time too. It was so nice of you to take care of me, thank you so much for that, by the way."

"My pleasure, we've all been there."

"I know, but, I'm still embarrassed."

"No need, but I understand."

"Chandra, I  _ flashed _ you. I can't believe I did that, I haven't ever done that before."

An idea flashed through Chandra’s head, she sprinted across the house, into Saheeli's room. 

"Wha…"

"NO TIME" she tossed her phone to Saheeli, "TAKE PICTURE" and yanked her shirt and bra off of her chest.

"Cha, this is one of the weirdest things you've ever asked me to do. Did you forget that mirrors exist?" Saheeli smiled and handed the phone to Chandra.

"Thankssomuchillexplainlayerloveyou" Chandra called to Saheeli's room.

Huatli sat confused. "Hey, love?"

"Yes, love?"

"What the fuck just happened?"

"My over impulsive housemate and best friend needed me to take a picture of her boobs. What are friends for? I guess?"

"Eh, really more of a butt-girl myself."

Chandra, surging back into her room, sent the picture, captioned "Now we're even!"

"Chandra, oh my god, you are ridiculous."

"What can I do to make you feel comfortable around me again?"

"You are amazing, did you know that, Chandra?"

"Jdjdhsodkfjfifijehdofjdhsg"

"Thank you for the picture, buy the way. (Do you thank people who send lewd pics? I have no idea)"

"There's more where that came from."

"Chandra, really? lol"

"Not  _ much _ more, but a comfortable handful"

"You really aren't mad that I got all kissy and grabby?"

"Niss, you're fine, I promise."

"Thank you for not like, taking advantage of me"

"I don't want to start another relationship based on drunk sex."

"Do you….want to start a relationship with me?"

"Can you come over tonight?"

"You didn't answer me, Chandra."

"I want to talk it over with you. I desperately want this to work, Niss"

"Give me 20 minutes"


	8. And the lonely once bandaged lay fully exposed Having undressed their wounds for each other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroes take some time to sit down and decide what exactly is going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning on this one, this chapter gets real af for a bit. It doesn't really involve extra tagging, but a good portion of this is real. I just wanted to put a mild disclaimer at the start. Adding a "high school relationships (referenced)" tag. A lot of this ends up reading more like a series of monologues, rather than actual dialog, but I feel ok in the whole structure.

Saheeli and Huatli cleared out as soon as Chandra shared that Nissa was on her way.

Chandra waited in the living room, poking at her phone.

A knock came sooner than she had expected it to. Nissa stood, eyes red and puffy, on their small porch.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey, Niss, come on in."

Nissa sat at the loveseat perpendicular to the futon. Chandra took up the same seat she had been waiting in. They sat in silence for a few moments.

"Im - really sorry - I behaved like a total twat." Nissa said softly.

"I don't think you need to, but if it helps I accept. I'm really glad you could come by."

"Why did you not tell me about Liliana?"

"I - to be honest? I should have. I was too excited about this whole thing and it slipped my mind, and that was my mistake. What do you want to know?"

"Honestly? I don't know how I feel."

"Ok, so, Liliana and I used to hook up freshman year. We met at parties and would end up in bed. We tried to date, and things were really good for a while, but after…" she trailed off. "She changed, some traumatic family, stuff, and she hasn't been the same since. it wasn't healthy for either of us so we agreed to break it off. We stayed friends and she started dating Jace, who was my roommate at the time."

Nissa cocked her head slightly. "Oh, that's what he meant about being on testosterone."

"Yeah, he was really vital to me getting through freshman year, him and Saheeli."

Nissa nodded. "I can't be mad for something you did before you met me. I am for some reason though? You're not mad that I had girlfriend in high school until ditched me."

"I can be mad about the ditching part." Chandra joked, trying to diffuse.

"Not what I mean, but thanks" she forced a smile. "I feel really stupid about this whole - everything. I wish I could just understand my feelings sometimes."

"Niss, I wasn't lying when I told you I want this to work."

Nissa looked up, over to Chandra. "I do too."

"Here, in high school, I was dating this guy, right? So we were like, watching a movie and he remarked how some actress was hot, and I agreed. He said he had been watching me and had wondered for awhile if I was 'a queer' as he put it."

"Ugh, yikes. I'm sorry you had to deal with that." 

"Well, we messed around a little, and I regretted it. He said I wasn't interested in him and 'just wanted pussy'. I didn't understand myself very well at the time and honestly didn't have the words to describe how I felt. I mean, I liked him a lot, but it kind of felt obligatory? Like I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. I thought everyone like, looked at boys the same way they did girls. Like, that's how I always felt. I told him that and he told me I was disgusting and left. By the end of the week, everyone in school knew. I was 'that bi girl' or a lot of worse names. Its like overnight I lost everything socially. Saheeli was the only person I could go to about it, and she told me she was a lesbian when I told her I was bi. We cried together on the phone that night for hours."

"Wow, Chandra, I…" Nissa felt the need to reply but couldn't put words together in coherence.

"Since then I just - romance hasn't really been an option for me. I thought it was there with Lili, but it was just hormones and alcohol. Hookups and such, some hopefuls, but always discarded or ghosted or whatever. That's why I'm so fucking scared about us. Why I'm so careful. I'm terrified you're going to find out that I am all the things I call myself when I am alone. That you're going to just, I don't know, discover you hate me one day. I meant it when I told you I really like you. I'm telling you this because - I don't know. You opened up to me and I want you to understand? I'm sorry I made mistakes in the past. I really like you and I desperately want this to work because every single thing I learn about you makes me more and more interested in you and I want to be with you so I can learn more. If that's not good enough, I won't hold it against you if you left."

Nissa sat in stunned silence, noticing the tears rimming Chandra’s eyes, how much her hands were shaking, how curled in on herself she was than normal.

"I don't want to leave, and I completely and totally accept your apology."

Chandra smiled in relief, looking up and into Nissa's eyes.

"I really like you, and I understand, in a way, what you're saying. I understand being unkind to yourself, because I tell myself horrible things too." Nissa added, feeling the sharp hint of new tears. 

"I really like you too, and I really want to keep trying." Chandra assured her.

"May I - maybe talking about this will help you understand me."

Chandra nodded, leaning forward to listen.

Nissa took a deep breath. "I kind of thought I was an alien as a kid? Like, I was always too weird for the other kids to associate with. I just think differently. Some things are so hard for me that other people have no issue with. When I got to high school I knew something was off about me. I read those teen magazines and just, didn't get the whole thing. I thought I was broken. And then she came around. She was like, everything I wished I could be. Smart, confident, popular, beautiful, independent, alternative, all those things.  I started to understand those feelings I read about in those teen magazines, but instead of pop star boys, it was a girl three years older than me. She - I think, saw it in me. She was the first person who listened to me. Like when I would get hyper-focused on plants or something, she would listen. She listened when I broke down and told her my issues with sexuality and how I felt about her she held me while I cried and told me I wasn't broken. Explained to me that it was ok to feel this way. Obviously I knew what a lesbian was, I'm autistic, not clueless, but I thought that was different and I was just fucked up. I stayed with her that night and she kissed me and told me I was real. She was so supportive of me in private, and that was ok with me. I didn't need to make a big spectacle of it. Things escalated emotionally, and I realized I loved her. I told her and she didn't say it back, I didn't need her to. She just held me while I cried."

"Oh honey," Chandra interjected.

"The end of the school year came, then the end of that summer and she had to go off to college. She promised me she would stay in touch and she would come see me as often as she could, and she did - for a little bit. Our conversations got shorter and shorter and she started ignoring my calls. Eventually I asked her, and she told me she met someone and was 'bored' of me and wasn't interested in 'holding a child's hand' anymore. I told her that I loved her and she said I didn't know what that meant. After that she cut all communication. I never stopped loving her and I don't think I ever will. I wonder a lot if I really don't know what that means. When you asked me to go out I was terrified. You seemed so smart, confident, popular, beautiful, independent, and I was scared. I had sort of resigned myself to being alone, because I will always be that child someone has to hold her hand and tell her she's real. I am scared that I don't understand what love is and never can. Right now I am scared you hate me because I can't control my emotions and I ran off for no reason. You're the first thing that has gone right for me since she left."

Chandra shifted over, indicating a spot next to her for Nissa. She collapsed into Chandra, weeping softly into her shoulder.

"Niss, I - wow, thats fucked - I think I understand a little better? I'm sorry if I haven't been patient with you or insensitive."

"No, you haven't, at least I haven't noticed. I just am really dense sometimes and sometimes emotions just get away from me. I honestly hate the way I am sometimes."

"I really like the way you are, if that helps."

"Thanks, Chandra." Silence before she started laughing, "I still can't believe you sent me a topless picture to make up for me embarrassing myself. Who took that, anyway?"

"Yeah, uhh - Saheeli. I may have forgotten about mirrors. I just wanted to show you - I don't know - I'm willing to try really hard?"

"With - a picture of your boobs?"

"Try hard, titty out, make it work!" Chandra made a silly face and flexed her free hand in a symbol of determination.

Nissa's musical laugh cut through the tension in the room. "You are amazing, Chandra. You are ridiculous, impulsive and clever and funny and smart and so, so sweet."

Chandra smiled, pulling Nissa in for a soft embrace.

"You hungry? I saved some frozen pizzas, could toss one in the oven and watch some trashy movies? Dvds on the rack over there and there is a media pc you can control with the keyboard on the table there."

Chandra set about preparing the pizza. Nissa picked a cute animated movie of Saheeli’s that Chandra had never actually seen. Afterward Chandra grabbed one of her favorite ridiculous action movies. 

Nissa snuggled up against her as they both laid on the futon. Chandra nearly immediately fell asleep holding the other girl.

Chandra woke up sore, a pleasant warmth pressed into her chest and midsection. Confused for a second, she realized she had fallen asleep on the couch with Nissa snuggled up to her. The TV had automatically shut off and they lay completely in the dark. Shifting her arm a little bit to try to relieve the growing cramp in her shoulder, must have disturbed Nissa a little bit, who snuggled closer in primarily by rubbing her butt closer into Chandra. She wrapped her free arm around Nissa protectively and tried to stay as still as possible. Nissa was soft and warm and small next to her. This was bliss, aside from sleeping on a couch that didn't allow for comfortable sleeping. A few minutes of snuggling passed and Nissa began to stir.

"Humhu, where - Chandra?" She asked groggily, clearly confused in an unfamiliar sleep setting.

Chandra squeezed the smaller girl in front of her, "shhhh, you’re with me, we fell asleep on futon, remember?"

Nissa rolled over, now facing Chandra. "Must be dreaming" she mumbled, pressing her face into Chandra’s chest. 

"It's ok, just go back to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up."

"I want you here. I want to stay near you" Nissa mumbled into Chandra’s sternum. "Wanna kiss."

"You can later, all you want, ok?"

Nissa wrapped her free arm around Chandra's waist, apparently jostling herself more awake. "Urmph, Chandra?" She asked again.

"I'm still here, you ok?"

"Yeah, just, feels like my hips got put back on sideways and my spine has filed a formal complaint."

Chandra smiled, "Would you like to maybe move to my bed? If you're not comfortable with that you can sleep there and I can stay here."

"Nooo, want you there" Nissa pulled herself up on the futon. Finding Chandra's lips she kissed, squirming around a little as Chandra returned the kiss and let her hands wander up and down Nissa's sides. Soft sounds escaped the brunette as the kiss became more urgent and Nissa's hands began exploring as well.

"To bed?" Chandra suggested fearfully, breaking the kiss for a moment. Nissa nodded and they untangled from each other.

Nissa was on her feet first, "which one was your bathroom again? It's dark and last time I wasn't exactly completely here."

Chandra sat up, "the last one on the left before you get to my room."

"I'll be in, just a sec," she wobbled a bit at first, finding her way through the dark and unfamiliar room.

Chandra entered her room, several moments after. Debating swapping into sleeping clothes for a moment before Nissa's voice behind her got her attention.

"I didn't know what you usually sleep in, I usually do shorts/undies and a big tee shirt…" Chandra explained, turning to face Nissa.

"Chandra - I…" Nissa crossed the room, kissing her and, wrapping her arms around and exploring Chandra's back, pushing her gently toward the bed.

"Is this ok?" Nissa asked through heavy breaths.

"Yes - more…" Chandra’s arms, in turn, investigating.

Nissa softly pushed Chandra to a seated position, sitting on her lap, and pushing her onto her back.

Morning arrived hours later, their bodies tangled together as the sun streamed through Chandra’s flag bathing the room in blues, purples, and pinks, all the while, the tiny succulent on the windowsill, with its green leaves and red tips soaked in the sunlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it this far, thank you so much. I was terrified to start publishing and yall have been wonderful. This story ends here, but there will *likely* be follow up. After all, we don't know how Liliana and Judith's night turned out, plus, what happens next weekend at Club Rakdos?
> 
> For the titles, I couldn't resist but use Bright Eyes lyrics. This chapter in particular inspired by the title.


End file.
